I went to Victoria Secret today(semi-annual sale YAY!) and while I was in the back corner of the fitting room trying on bras when I heard the associate and a customer talking with each other. I don’t remember how it got brought up but the customer was asking the associate how difficult it is to raise a baby without the dad because she just found out she was pregnant. The customer said that she text the father to tell him that today was the first ultrasound and he responded with “I am busy and that’s not my concern. I don’t want to go.” and other statements to make this girl feel helpless. The associate told her how she could do it and how she personally did it and is raising her son with no father. The customer just expresses her concern for the baby and how she is going to raise it without the dad. She was talking about how she is just a part time cashier that live with her mom and has no idea how this is going to work. She the says, “the thought of abortion breaks my heart” and at that point I felt inclined to chime in.
I open my door and begin my speech. I tell the girl, ” I am sorry to ease drop but I got to tell you something. I am not an extremely religious person so just know this is not where this is coming from but if abortion is an option please do reconsider. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for 2 years now and I would kill to experience one day of morning sickness. You don’t know what you have until you can’t have it. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you being pregnant and having the dad not care but he may come around. I have heard by multiple men that they don’t REALLY get that they are going to be a dad until the baby is actually here, present, so they can hold it. THAT makes it real! Or he may not come around and if thats the case then you have multiple options: 1. you can keep the baby and he may be around to help, 2. you can keep the baby and make sure you have a support system that can help you and keep you sane and strong, 3. if you decide not keep the baby you can have and abortion, or last 4. you can have the baby adopted. That may be the hardest thing you would ever do, maybe even harder then being a single mom. You would carry for 9 months, go through labor, and have 72 hours to decide if you want to keep the baby or stick with the adoption. You would literally make someone’s life complete and they would never be able to repay you but it would mean the world to those people that could never make a baby but always wanted one. Whatever you decide to do, do it for you. I know we are giving you advice but whatever you decide you need to make sure it is what is best for you. We can tell you every story in the book but every situation is different so, just remember its all about you and what you want. Not what everyone else thinks you want or need. Good luck with whatever you decide!”
I don’t know if I should have said anything. I don’t know if I helped her, if she really listened, to if she even cared but I had to let her hear some options. I am also very happy that I stayed strong, I didn’t cry, and I am still positive about my own situation. I called my husband to tell him my intruding story and he made fun of me for being my mothers daughter. “Your mom would have done the exact same thing.” Besides that he just listened to me and was an amazing supportive husband as usual. If I would have been in that dressing room 3 months ago I would have been crying and wouldn’t have said a word to that lost girl. I am so proud of myself for finally being able to talk about everything that is going on. I used to be so negative and the second anyone brought up pregnancy or babies I became unbearable to be around. Im so happy to be in a good place. I can only hope that in 30 days I get a positive where it counts so I can stay positive.