I know I keep taking breaks from the blog but I realized that I need it for my sanity. If I engross myself into this baby stuff when there is nothing that we can do I will get crazy. I told myself that I would not update the blog until it was closer to a time when something significant can happen. Finally, it is that time.
The results from Josh’s Blood and Sperm Analysis came back a while ago:
Blood Test- Testosterone: 356 ng/dl (Low), Luteinizing: 6.6 mU/mL (Good), FSH: 7.6 mU/mL(Good)
Sperm Test- DNA: 12.1% (Good), Reactive O2 Species: 2,242.9 RLU/sec (High), Semen PH: 7.2 (Low), Motility: 55% (Improved, Good), Sperm Morphology: 5% (Low), AmOrphology Sperm: 84% (High), Concentration(After Removing “Bad Sperm): 4.6 (Million, Low), Total Count: 16.56 (Million, Low), Total Motile Sperm: 9.11 (Million, Low)
We were told that the low sperm count and the high oxidative stress can be fixed by the Vitamin C and E that he is currently taking in the vitamin regimen that he has been on since November. It is not guaranteed that it will be fixed by those vitamins but we will see with the next test. He also has abnormal morphology. This is not uncommon for men and it also is not an easy fix. We were told that if his numbers do not improve and if this continues to be the problem that IVF with ICSI is our best bet to get pregnant. “Intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI). ICSI only requires one sperm, which is injected directly into the egg. The fertilised egg (embryo) is then transferred to your uterus (womb).”(http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a4097/fertility-treatment-intracytoplasmic-sperm-injection-icsi#ixzz3zFSBNU74) Josh was also told to continue taking the vitamin regimen, some others meds, then we will retest in a 3 months.
Guess what kids….Its been three months. I know, I can’t believe it either how time as flied by. As of February 11th Josh can go get re-tested. He calls in the day before to set up the appointment then we go from there. Josh travels a lot now for work and we are not sure if he will be in town that day so he had not set up the appointment yet. If he can’t go the 11th then we just try each thursday after that(18th, 25th, etc.) He believes that he will be traveling that week so it might have to wait until the 18th. I am hoping not but he doesn’t have much control of when he travels so we will see what happens. Best Case Scenario, Josh gets his test done in a week. This makes me very excited because even though I have been trying to avoid the baby talking, it hasn’t been going very well.
I introduced my friend to my doctor and she started Clomid and testing and everything right away. But before I knew it she was doing IUI and I was in a daze. She took her OPK at work and when she came back from the bathroom with a BFP, she was ecstatic. She instantly left to call the doctor to set up the appointment for their IUI. I literally ran to the bathroom and burst into tears. I was so mad at her and jealous and devastated and heartbroken. She has been trying for a long time and deserves this. But I have too. I have been dealing with doctors and so has my husband. Going through this pain of nothing for months on end just for my friend to get to do this so quickly. After literally vocalizing all of this to another friend I realized, ” I just need to feel bad for myself first so I can then be happy for her.” I needed to be frustrated and deal with my emotions. I used to be a very instant person. If I felt something everyone knew and I didn’t care about the repercussions or how it would effect others. If I was mad at you, you knew it, no matter how childish the situation. I never took the time to think about the situation before erupting with emotions. I am much better at expressing my emotions in a healthy way. Obviously we all have our moments but, no matter what the emotion is, I figure it out and go on with my day. I didn’t want her to think that she couldn’t talk to me about it or that i wasn’t happy for her because I was. I felt awful when my best friend thought she couldn’t tell me she was pregnant because of our situation. I wanted to make sure I never let one of my friends think that ever again. After I grieved that day I was able to be happy for her and wanted to know every detail about it. Unfortunately, it did not take and either did the 2 other times. She is taking a break now because you can tell it has taken an emotional toll on her. I don’t blame her and she needs this break. Physically and Emotionally. I hope that she gets her family soon because she has been through a lot, especially these last few months. It seems to be a pretty exhausting process where time is not your friend and you have run to the doctors at the drop of a hat on numerous occasions. I can’t say that I am looking forward to not having control over this situation. But I am so overwhelmed with the glimmer of hope over these next few weeks with Josh’s tests. This might be our time. Instead of all the waiting we might be able to finally start the process of getting pour baby.