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My Second First Doctors Appointment

Today was the day of my Doctor Appointment with the new Doctor. The office looked like every other Doctor’s Office but the sign by the door said Fertility Center. I already felt a little at ease because I was hoping it would only be women in the office in a similar position as us. It wasn’t like when I went to the previous Doctor where there was pregnant woman in there and baby pictures on the wall. There was none of that here which helped me while filling out all the new patient paper work. I wasn’t done with the paper work before I was called to the back by the nurse. She took my weight and brought me into the room. The nurse asked why I was there….we want to have a baby. Then I go into the details of Our Story. She then takes my blood pressure, which was good, then has me finish my paperwork and wait for the doctor.

The doctor came in rather quickly and we were only in the Patient room for a moment before she took me into her office. The Doctor was so adorable. She is probably in her 40’s but looks like she is in her 30’s. She is about 5’6, skinny minny, with chin length curly blackish brown hair that had some grey hairs through it as well. Those grey’s where the only thing that made her look any older. She had very smooth aged porcelain skin, beautiful long eyelashes and very little make up. Not that she needed any. The Doctor has a very natural beauty and a very big smile. I could tell that she was a serious doctor but one that could handle my humor that REALLY turns on when I am nervous. We discussed my problems with the previous doctor: Lack of communication, not on the same page, etc. The Doctor then grabbed a piece of paper and said, ” This is how you make a baby” She drew a stick figured woman but put a big circle to show the lady parts as well as an arrow from the head pointing at the lady parts. The Doctor said that “we need to figure out where the disconnect is in this process. First, the brain tells the body to ovulate, I don’t that there is a problem there because you have had Positive OPK. Then you produce the eggs, the eggs drop, the sperm attaches then that attaches to the wall. These are the parts where we don’t know why you haven’t got pregnant yet.” She said that she wants to do an ultra sound to see whats going on. I said OK and she asked if I was up for that today? I was surprised and then a little confused. I asked very naively, “through the belly ultrasound?” She smiled then shook her head back and forth. “I wasn’t prepared for that…I didn’t prepare for that.” She said that is fine and not to worry at all. She said that doing this will give her a better idea of what I have going on and what path she thinks we should take. I expressed my hesitation but agreed even though I was nervous. I was just expecting a chat, not an ultrasound.

She tells me to empty my bladder then go into the room and (as we have all heard numerous time) undress from the waste down. I get to it. Then nervously wait for her return. She comes into the room and starts a conversation to try to distract me from the lubricant she is applying to the wand she is about to use for the ultrasound. I was very very nervous at that point. I had never had an ultrasound like THAT before. I knew that with this journey, I needed to get used to it! After the initial…..you know….it wasn’t as bad as I thought. Then The Doctor said, ” Your Uterus looks GREAT!” I took that as a compliment but still curiously said Thank you! While she was checking my ovaries there was a little pressure but it wasn’t too bad. The HSG Appt. was much worse. She didn’t say much while looking at my ovaries and then turned the screen for me to look at. She said, ” The uterus looks great, here’s your left ovary full off all those little eggs which is great. It looks exactly like it should(to me it looked like and open Pomegranate). And we go to the right, see how it is all black?” I respond hesitantly, “Yes?” “Well, that is a good thing. That means that you should be ovulating within the next week, right?” and in fact I was supposed to. I was so relieved. I knew the OPK said Yes before but now I have seen it for myself. I was then told to get dressed and go back into her office so we could finish talking.

The Doctor had the ultrasounds printed out. I kind of wanted to take them. I know that there wasn’t a baby but I have always wanted an ultrasound photo with a baby. I didn’t ask, don’t worry. After that we finished out discussion on what the game plan was going to be. The Doctor asked if my previous doctor talked about my glucose level at all. I told her that the previous doctor did say that it was high and pre diabetic but that was it. She said that it was definitely too high. That if it gets any higher than a 6.0 she doesn’t like trying to get people pregnant because of the complications that can happen. That made me heart stop. I don’t know that my levels are at now and then she said she wanted to test my blood again to see where I was at. We will do the blood work today to test my glucose and my thyroid today. Crap! I ate a doughnut and drank Gatorade that morning. I KNOW I KNOW! Worst combination ever and such a horrible idea before a Doctor’s Appointment. Josh and I rarely buy doughnuts and of course I choose to have mine before the appointment. I was so mad at myself. We continued on:

1. Try for this cycle to get  pregnant. After she saw were my ovulation was at for this month she really wants us to try again. I am fine with that, what’s one more month.

2.Josh has to get tested after this ovulation. She said that after this week he has to schedule an appointment. The Doctor also said that the VA should cover it and if they don’t do it there they should cover for Josh to have it done somewhere else. That was a relief.

3. No Surgery for Endo. The Doctor said that it truly looks like I have it but she is not 100% because the only way to check is through the surgery and because I am not having awful symptoms like some do she doesn’t want to do the surgery if she doesn’t have to, which I agree with. Plus, I don’t have the time off to do the surgery so, that works for me.

4. IF this month doesn’t work and Josh’s test come back normal then she thinks the next best step is Clomid with IUI next month. HOLY CRAP! I don’t know what I was expecting, It is the next best step. She said the same thing. The Doctor said that because we have been trying for so long that she thinks this combination is our best chance. She said that since we tried Clomid by itself and it didn’t work she didn’t want to risk just IUI. She obviously mentioned the much higher the odds are of twins which Josh and I are fine with. The next big question:Cost. It is a flat right(like UPS or something) of $482.00 for the wash of his sperm and the Insemination. That obviously doesn’t include the cost of the medications and the doctors appointments for ultrasounds or whatever else they might need from me. I was thinking it will cost around $700 after the bills finally come around.

I felt amazing after the Appointment. I am obviously a little hesitant about the blood results but other than that, cloud 9! We could potentially be pregnant NEXT MONTH! She said to contact her next month if I start my period or if we get pregnant on our own. From there ,if we are not pregnant: we will get the Clomid Prescription(100 mg), take that day 5-9, then people normally ovulate on CD12 (I ovulate late but I don’t think that will stay the same with Clomid) but once I get a positive on the OPK I call the Fertility Center to have the IUI don’t the next day, Josh goes in before me that morning to give his sample, it will be “washed” as in they will separate the good sperm from the bad sperm, and then they do the insemination and I sit on the table for 10 minutes(they are available 7 days a week for insemination).  They said that there is a chance of cramping pain after as well as spotting are common. Two weeks later we test to see if we have a baby. This is happening we are finally in the process of having a baby. I am beyond excited and Josh is too! We bought a bunch of healthier food to try to get this glucose stuff under control as well as continuing going to the gym. We are doing this, we are going to get our family. I just know that we are going to get our baby!

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Now I Feel Confused and Foolish

No surgery for me…for now…I think!

Originally when I spoke with Lisa* she was saying I could get the surgery Tuesday(27th) or depending on my cycle in February sometime at the end of February. My manager was sick and when he finally came back on Saturday(24th) He said, “Don’t worry about this place. Do what you have to do. Just see if you can get it done next week and we will go from there.” Don’t have to tell me twice.

I contacted my Doctors Office on Monday morning to see if I could still go in for the surgery on Tuesday(Crazy, I know). I realized I was speaking with Lisa* so I asked her about the Cycle Days with the surgery. She said that surgery had to be done between CD 5-11. She said that it was highly unlikely that I would be able to get into the surgery that quick. She finally called me back at about 11AM. Hello Lisa* Tell me something good! Lisa* tells me that, “since the Doctor hasn’t seen you since the HSG she isn’t going to do the surgery because you need pre-testing to verify that you need the surgery. She doesn’t want to cut for no reason. So, she said let’s schedule an appointment to discuss what you want to do next.”

…….

Though I am grateful she doesn’t want to cut into me for no reason and I was skeptical about just going right into a surgery without pre-surgery testing. I am a little confused and feel rather foolish. I have been talking to them for almost 2 weeks about this. Why wasn’t something said sooner about not doing the surgery until after I spoke with her sooner? Or why didn’t the doctor say something when I messaged her to get information on the surgery? The doctor told me at the HSG that because it came back normal that this is the next test she wanted to do. I completely understand that I need pre-testing but let’s just schedule that. I don’t want to waste time with us chatting…AGAIN for me to come back for another visit after that to get this going. I just want us to figure this out.

There is another potential obstacle for us as well. I have applied for a new job a few weeks ago and did a final interview today. I think that all went well! It is a bit of a drive but its a pay increase and if I do get the job it is a great opportunity to move up in banking. I want to go back to school and it is much more of a possibility if I get out of the branch side of banking; this would be a move to the operational, back end of banking. I am hoping for the best BUT it is yet another delay in the TTC journey because of the delay in insurance.

I was talking with Josh about this tonight. We are going to get him tested in March; when his insurance through his work kicks in. We are FINALLY going to start using OPT(Ovulation Prediction Kit). I know I am way behind the times for someone that has been TTC for over 2 years. I just got some First Response ones from a friend but I was wondering:

-What OPK do you guys prefer?

-Where do you buy them from? (They can be pretty expensive)

-Is there a better time to test?

As I said, I am behind the times. The past 2 I took I got “?”. The first one I think was my fault…I MAY have unclipped it in a nervous frustration while waiting for the answer! I swear it was way more then 5 minutes. BUT the second time I think I did everything right and still got a “?”.  I know what OPKs are but I haven’t looked into them too much because of the price but now….With all these delays and insurance and new job and house repairs and anything else that can and will happen. I don’t want to keep allowing these delays to hold us back. I want to do everything I can to get us a baby.

Any other advice for someone who:

-Has normal blood work(boarder line diabetic is the only thing)

-6 rounds of Clomid- Fail

-And Negative HSG Results(Right ovary was a little far away, long right tube)

I am open to any suggestions on opinions I was even thinking of posting my Blood work results on here to see what people think. Maybe next post. I am tired! =] Let me know what you guys are thinking!

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First RE Appointment

Today was the day! I went to my first RE Appointment.

I got to the doctors office and obviously the nurse did the norm: Asked me all the,”Do you have trouble walking or functioning” type questions AKA the ones that everyone says NO too! Then asked some questions about my cycles, my Clomid cycles, and other questions that the OBGYN asked already. After she was done the typical, “The doctor will be in shortly to see you.” The nurse came in fairly quick and the Doctor did as well.

When the Doctor came into the room she shook my hand and got right into it. She paraphrased back everything that the nurse and I already went over then asked a few of the same questions as well. The Doctor then told me she was going to look over the blood work that was taken a few months ago. She looked at it and her jaw dropped a little and then started asking about my cycles. I thought she may have seen something bad about my cycles, i didn’t know how, but thats what I was thinking. She asked if I ALWAYS got my period, if they were constant, if they were very heavy, etc. Then she said that I had the early onset of Diabetes. WHAT?!?!?! She turned the screen to show me that my levels for that were a 6.0 and normal was 4.5(i think)-6.0 and that 6.4 is considered Diabetic. I was so confused at first. It went from all these cycle questions to Diabetes. What’s sad is I wasn’t as shocked as I probably should have been. My paternal Grandpa died from diabetes after having both of his legs from the knee down removed and part of his one arm. My father and maternal Grandpa have diabetes as well. So, in my mind I was thinking, “It was bound to happen eventually.” But at 26?

Once that was done we started talking about options. One of the first things she said was, “One of the things with Unexplained Infertility…” And I stopped hearing after that. Unexplained, how can you say that? There hasn’t been any testing yet and you are just going to say unexplained; then I tuned back into the conversation. She was saying that we are both young and so we need to take a few steps to get where we need to. We can even take his sperm and just insert it to help improve the process but there were a few things that she wanted to do first before we got to that point. She said that we WILL up the Clomid to 100MG and do that for another 2 months at MAX! If I don’t become pregnant by then I have to have a Hysterosalpingography, in english,  check my uterus and tubes for scarring, abnormalities, and that the tubes aren’t blocked. She also ordered for Josh to have a sample tested. I think that I will have my test done after next month and Joshs’, the sooner the better. She asked how I reacted to Clomid that first time. I then told her of Clomid Chronicles as well as Chapter 2 and she responded with, “Very good”. She said that most people that have bad reactions with the lower dosage have just as bad, if not worse reactions with the higher dosage. Also, that if there are any bad reactions to let her know so they can potentially put me on something else. One of the last things she brought up was that after the 2 months of Cloimd and if I am not pregnant by then we will do the insemination of his sperm into me. Nothing fancy just removing the sex part = (. I hope that doesn’t happen but that would be the next step after the 2 months of Clomid and the test on both of us. After that we were done and I was sent away to get my Clomid and tell my husband all the good news…kind of.

photo

The elevator ride down I said it out loud, “I JUST SAW AN RE.” This is real, you just saw a specialist to get pregnant. You never think thats how its going to be when you are a kid. I remember having it planned out as a child: Get married at 21-22, have my first kid by 23-24, have my second by 24-25, and then go from there with the other 3 that I wanted…yea, I wanted 5 kids! Now that Im not an irrational teenager and married at 24(which is young still, I know) I realize after all this that it is not that easy. What happen to that plan though? The simplicity of getting married and just popping out some babies. That is gone. This is your life. Going to RE Appointments, finding out you could get diabetes if you don’t get your sh!# together, taking pills to get pregnant, OH, and if that doesn’t work then you get a dye shoved into your vagina to make sure its working right. Just like I dreamed it as a kid!

I finally got to the car to call Josh I tell him as it happened in the appointment, so, the early Diabetes was first. He was shocked and immediately started talking about how this is the reality check that we are going to use to get it together. He said,” I don’t mean to sound mean but I am more worried about this then having a kid. What am I supposed to do if we have a kid then you get stuck in a wheel chair from losing your legs to diabetes? Or worse? I want to spend a long healthy life with you so we need to get this taken care of soon.” Now, I wasn’t happy when I heard that first part but then the rest came out and I was completely understanding of that. Josh wants a child with me SO BAD that I know this didn’t come out without some thought behind it. He is genuinely concerned for myself and my health so he wants us to be healthy together. He then talked about juicers, going to the gym, if not the gym doing exercises together at home, cutting out bad foods, or replacing them with some better foods, and he just went on and on about how we are going to fix this. It was endearing but A LOT to take in. His encouragement made me really take in how sever this Diabetes thing could be and it was nice to know I have such a great support system to help me. We then talked about the Cloimd and the testing. He was less then thrilled to hear about that but knows that it has to be done. We also talked about the insemination process and the first words out of his mouth, “How much is all of this going to cost?” I was thinking the same thing. I have no idea how much this is all going to cost and I am nervous to find out. He also apologized that he wasn’t able to be there which was very nice to hear as well. I know that he was but after we talked about everything and he said that it was just nice to hear it, out loud, that he wanted to be there(he had to go home to take care of the dogs.).

So, where this leave us. My period was supposed to start today and I took a test this morning…I KNOW its too early but IF it was positive I was hoping to be able to cancel the appointment for today. The test was negative and my period still hasn’t started so we will see what happens. If it comes then I will start the Clomid and go for a month if not 2 depending on when I can get the day off for my testing. Then go from there. Still hopeful. Still positive. Just absorbing all the information that I received today. I just want everything to be ok, with myself, Josh and the Future Fetus. I want everything to work out. I am still feel positive that we are getting answers and information to move this forward. Though it was not the answers I was expecting(like it ever is) it was answers in the right direction. Now time to wait for the period and hopefully it doesn’t come so we can get this party started!