I believe that I am about to start my period. Which is fine because I know that I am not pregnant. But I am only on CD22. My back is really starting to hurt which is my sign that it’s about to go down. My regular cycles were around 26 days but they have been very sporadic lately. I use an app to keep track of my periods and when I took OPKs I tracked those as well. Here are the results of how many days my last few cycles have been:
18, 26, 28, 25, 24, 26
I don’t get it. As I stated before, they are also much more painful. I always put that the pain is on the right side, fatigue, cramping, back pain, diarrhea, and bloating. The pain is awful and hard to handle but would be much easier to deal with if my cycles where a little more consistent. Once we get all of Josh’s test results back I am going to talk to my doctor about all my issues.
We are also trying to plan a vacation. For once, we are taking time to ourselves to have a vacation. Not worrying about “IF” I am going to be pregnant or anything like that. Just planning and going with the flow. I am hoping that we find out Josh’s results this week. So we can talk with the doctors for our next steps.
I wrote down most of my experience at the doctors for my HSG testing but somethings I don’t remember so I will do my best with my horrible memory.
I was running late for some reason. I just remember rushing into the waiting room to check in and immediately sit down. There was another couple that was waiting as well. They were in their middle to late 30s, husband and wife, and both calm just patiently waiting for a name to be called. Her and I exchanged smiles but nothing more. I was so curious as to why they where there though. The whole time, is she going for the same thing as me? Are they having difficulties too? How are they handling it? Then my name was called to come back.
We walk back to a room that was the size of 2 bathroom stalls, one in front of the other, 5X15 if I had to guess. On the back wall was about 6 lockers that we were supposed to put our clothes after changing into our gowns that tied together and stayed closed unlike most hospital gowns. After changing the nurse verified what day of my Cycle I was on and asked me if I knew what was going to happen. I responded with, “I read the pamphlet and did some research online.” And she was ok with that answer. The nurse told me to then go sit in a little waiting room to the side of the changing area and wait for a nurse to get me. Around the corner the waiting room was just 2 couches and a TV that was playing Ellen. I don’t remember what was happening on the show but I remember laughing for a brief moment. It was a small relief from the immense anxiety that I was feeling about this procedure. That moment was short lived because after a quick bathroom break(I have to pee when Im nervous) the nurse that would be helping with the procedure.
We went across the hall to a different room. It reminded me of the room that I went to when I was younger to get an Xray but with a lot more computers,wires, and people. There was my RE, the nurse that brought me into the room and 2 other people that were in a room off to the side. The room had windows with shades that where kind of open so they could see what was happening with me but I have no idea who they were or even if they where women or men. I sat down and the Doctor explained the procedure one more time. I was listening but I was so nervous I didn’t hear a word she said. I then had to lay down and there where no stirrups. Not that I enjoy seeing those things but they help. I had to place me feet at the bottom of the table and just try to hold them there. I then laid down and locked those knees tight. I felt so exposed in all meanings of the word. I didn’t want to be there. I was petrified of what was going to happen: If my tubes are clogged will unclogging really get me pregnant? If they aren’t clogged why hasn’t it happen yet? What next?
The Doctor try politely asked me to unlock my knees and that she would begin. It started like a PAP with the “duckbill” and cleaning the Cervix which was a little painful but nothing crazy. I was mostly uncomfortable the whole time. And not uncomfortable like I was naked on a table with a woman looking up my skirt but uncomfortable like the when you have a little tooth ache that causes a minor pain that will not go away. Just plain uncomfortable and cringing feeling that I just wanted to end. I then started to cry. Not because I was in pain or uncomfortable but because I was so scared of what would happen next. The Doctor had to tell me to hold my breath so they could take the shots as the dye went in. The Dye wasn’t that bad either. I remember the pressure a little but it was tolerable. I decided to just look at the pictures as she was taking them to see if I could comprehend. I couldn’t see them well though because my eyes where full of mascara from my uncomfortable tears.
Once the procedure was done the Doctor couldn’t stop apologizing and asking if I was ok. I just continued to tell her that it wasn’t her or the procedure and after that she showed me the pictures. Moment of Truth: Everything came back normal. The only thing that she said was that my right tube was pretty long =] but the dye got through the whole thing. The pictures where interesting to see and nice to know that everything was normal. After that I had to chat with her. I told the doctor that we would not be moving forward with the insemination process because we need a new roof first. She was very understanding and said that once we got where we wanted to that I could contact her to move forward with the process. I then gave her the list of the Medical History and she said that the next step will be to get me tested for Endometriosis then go from there. She also said that we could try more Clomid too…If I wanted to. We are going to do this round and then take a break. We can talk about it soon but Im trying to gradually take this break and not jump into more baby talk. Im trying to think positive for this last round of Clomid so we will see. I know the next one will actually have some action to it. the last Clomid Chronicles will not be like the others. Ill be back with that update in about a week.
On top of been in a slump this week I found out some interesting information from my mother.
My mom called me the yesterday to chat and I decided to ask her more information about her medical history. I had an idea about the majority of what was going on with her: High Blood Pressure, Diabetes, Fibromyalgia, Diverticulitis, Colon Surgery(pre-cancerous), Hyperthyroid(three Parathyroids removed), and the fact that she had over 59 polyps removed from her stomach and esophagus. These things I knew. But then she went into the things I DIDNT know. She has Acid Reflects(which makes sense with the polyps that were removed), a tipped bladder and uterus(thats interesting fact, don’t know if its hereditary), and that she has Endometriosis. That was a surprise! I knew that at one point she got her tubes flushed out after a surgery but i didn’t know that surgery was for Endometriosis.
For those of you that don’t know what that is Here is some information but the definition that site(the mayo clinic) gives is: “Endometriosis (en-doe-me-tree-O-sis) is an often painful disorder in which tissue that normally lines the inside of your uterus — the endometrium — grows outside your uterus (endometrial implant). Endometriosis most commonly involves your ovaries, bowel or the tissue lining your pelvis. Rarely, endometrial tissue may spread beyond your pelvic region.” Hearing that was very scary and intense. My stomach instantly dropped and I was then petrified for my future. My mom had 2 children before that surgery but she also had a miscarriage before that surgery. After the surgery she had 2 more kids. I know its possible but Im feeling very uneasy about whats going to happen. Obviously, once I got off the phone I started my research and I found THIS on Pinterest and I have most of the symptoms. That made me even more nervous and at that point I decided that I need to have my testing done sooner rather then later. So, I scheduled the appointment. It is set for August 25. So, if I am not pregnant then I will get the testing done where they check my tubes and uterus for any abnormalities. I’m preparing for the worst and hoping for the best! Wish me Luck!!